Hello everyone, thank you for being here today to celebrate everyone in TRIO and highlight graduating senior voices. I’m excited that I have the chance to speak to everyone in this room, because there are people here that have had such important roles in my life and I know that even if I leave, we’ll stay connected because once you’re in TRIO, you’re always in TRIO.
In my freshman year, I came here with zero expectations. I didn’t know what I wanted to major in or what I wanted to do but I did have fears. Fear that I wouldn’t create this community that they tell you to find in your freshman orientation or the fear of not building your network because I didn’t know what that meant. All I had behind me was my parents’ trust that I would do the right thing. And even though I had just come back from spending a week at 17th, getting to know amazing people that I didn’t know would end up being my friends these past four years, I was under the impression that I was going into this alone. And obviously, I wouldn’t be here today if all of that was true. I wouldn’t be here today without my teachers, mentors, coaches, friends, and advisors.
The first person that helped me realize this was my first-year teacher Rashné Jehangir. In my first-year CEHD class, she introduced an article called “Higher Education and Habits of the Heart: Restoring Democracy’s Infrastructure” by Parker J. Palmer. She had the idea that it would help us create our own norms in the classroom, set our own expectations for ourselves and our peers, and by doing that it would allow us to feel more comfortable. There was this section titled “Habits of the Heart.” I’m going to use these habits as important lessons I’ve learned and am continuing to still work on.
The first habit is that “We must understand that we are all in this together.” In my freshman year during spring break, TRIO took some of us to the Capital for a TRIO day, advocating for this program and others across MN. I remember being on the bench with my friend Brandon when he told me that his friend at Harvard was told to move out because of COVID-19. I was naive and thought it was never going to get here, nothing big happens in MN and then our spring break gets extended for another week or so, and then we never came back that year and the next year. The one thing I was consistent with was TAG. I went to those TAG meetings every Friday, I even got the best TAGger last year. I remember texting my friends “Are at TAG?” “Are you going to TAG this Friday?” It was a nice place to unwind, meet and laugh with other people I hadn’t met. Coming to the school with the fear that I would build a community, I was attached to TAG. So when we didn’t come back after spring break, I was like “What’s going to happen to TAG?” It was still there, the TRIO advisors made it work. We still met, it was just through Zoom but I saw the same people, met new ones, laughed but above all else we stayed connected, which is what I needed at that time. I felt connected to a community where I knew the people around me wanted to help me.
The second habit is that “We must develop an appreciation of the value of “otherness.” This wasn’t a hard habit or lesson to learn, because we are often the “other,” being a person of color, being first-generation, not seeing anyone that looks like you in your classes is an experience we all relate to. It can be hard to be in those spaces and not think about why it is the way it is, but if I could talk to my freshman self, I would tell her to embrace the “otherness” and take pride in being the first. Take pride in being the first in your family to go to college, first to get a scholarship, and first to be recognized for all the hard work you put in to get to where you are now.
The third one which was the most tough for me but it’s that “We must cultivate the ability to hold tension in life-giving ways.” Even though I came here not knowing what to major in, I knew I was done with the competition. I had enough of that in High school, I wanted to be in a space that builds community and fosters growth. I started out in elementary education. I was in a classroom where the teachers were kind, there was no curve, the foundation was collaboration and everyone had the same goal. I started telling myself that I had found my people, that this is where I belong until I told my parents that I was studying to become a teacher, and that’s when the tension started to grow. You hear it a lot from immigrant parents “Become a doctor, or lawyer, get a good paying job.” They want to see your success and for it to be reflected back on the family. Another thing I heard a lot from my parents was that my only job was to be a good student. It was tough love but I learned that just as I came into college with fears, my parents were afraid too. This wasn’t an area they could give me guidance on, they were scared to tell me the wrong thing, which is why all they had was trust that I would do the right thing.
They never told me their feelings, but growing up I began to understand them more and myself. It was the first time I really began to take ownership in my education. I had to be honest with myself and recognize that there were interests that I hadn’t yet pursued and began just doing that. There was a time when my education wasn’t something I claimed for myself, it was something that I was doing for my parents in the hope that they would see that their efforts were worthwhile. Just know that can still hold true for you while you begin to discover the value in your education.
The next two lessons became the most important for me, they were that we must generate a sense of personal voice and agency and that we must strengthen our capacity to create community. Personal voice has always been a challenge for me, being confident that my voice has the power to make a difference. I can’t pinpoint an experience where that flipped for me because it’s something I’m still learning but what I can confidently say is that “no one tells me when I’m done.” I own the finish line, you own your finish line, don’t let anyone tell you when you should be done with your education or what the expectations are because you set them yourself and set them high because you all have the capacity. And if you don’t believe in that now, you will because you have people around you that are going to help you discover it. Because it’s impossible to create a sense of personal voice without creating a community. It took a village for me to get to where I am today, to have pursued the opportunities other people had to push me to say “yes” to.
I was recently asked by a friend whether I can say that my 4 years here have been a success and I said yes. Because of everything I’ve done, all of my successes, and everything I’ve failed at, whether it was a class or an exam, I came back from it and I wasn’t by myself. That community was TRIO, PES, my friends, and my advisors that have changed my outlook on life and my pursuits.
