From CEED: How storytelling boosts our executive functioning: a Q & A with Chris Wing

November 21, 2023

Chris Wing, PhD ’13, CCC-SLP, built on her career as a speech-language pathologist by pursuing a PhD in language development. She is currently developing a preschool curriculum that emphasizes communication. The curriculum was commissioned by The Family Partnership, a Minnesota nonprofit that provides early childhood education as well as mental health, home visiting, and other services. Wing is working with CEED evaluators Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD, and Mary McEathron, PhD, to evaluate the effectiveness of the curriculum, which is being piloted in preschool classrooms as well as in home visiting and parent education programs. In this Q & A, Wing shares information about the curriculum and about the science underlying its storytelling content.

What motivated you to pause your career and return to graduate school?

CW: I had been working with a population of young children at extremely high risk for speech and language delays. I observed that when we addressed these children’s communication needs, they were changing in ways that were not considered to be directly related to communication. I saw changes in self-regulation and executive functioning skills. I wasn’t familiar with how that worked. It moved me back to school for my PhD in speech-language-hearing science.

My total focus was to understand the relationship between overall development and communication. I had to merge separate sets of academic literature related to infant mental health and communication.

How is infant mental health related to language development?

Speech and language, attachment relationships, and executive functioning are all connected. Research shows that the ability to use internal state language is predictive of executive functioning. Internal state language is a speech pathology term. It refers to language like, “I wonder how you are feeling,” or, “I can see by the look on your face that you might be afraid.” In the infant mental health literature they call it “mind-mindedness”–being mindful of the child’s mental state.

In my research for my PhD, I found wonderful and fascinating information about how attachment is transmitted from caregiver to child. Parents with good executive functioning create secure relationships and are using this kind of language. The good news is that when we address children’s speech and language needs, we get spread across areas of child development that impact attachment and behavior.

How did the storytelling curriculum that you are designing come about?

John Till is senior vice president of strategy and innovation at The Family Partnership. He learned about the importance of executive functioning and self-regulation. He also learned about the need to develop a two-generation approach to strengthen these skills. We agreed that I would create a communication-based curriculum for both parents and children with personal storytelling as a key strategy. I wanted to get that process down to a concrete level: what does it look like? What does it sound like? What are the steps involved in helping children develop these skills?

The preschool storytelling curriculum is designed for direct delivery to children and also for parents to deliver to children. So one version is to be administered by preschool or child care teachers. The other version is to be used with parents either one-on-one in a home visiting context or in a group setting.

Often, the parents themselves have not had many opportunities to work on developing their own communication and self-regulation skills. We’ve actually gotten some data in from a pilot where we’re having home visitors listen to the parent’s narrative and prompt them with questions like “Who was there? When did it happen? Was there a problem? Was the problem solved? What was the sequence of events?” We saw changes in the parents in terms of how coherent their storytelling was. These skills don’t just happen on their own. They result from participating in interactions and from what we call scaffolding. Scaffolding means building on what they already know.

How does the curriculum build storytelling skills?

One of the major strategies is called “Telling My Story.” We don’t ask children to retell a story that they learned from a book or at school, such as a folk tale. Instead, we ask them to tell a story about their lives. In the academic literature, this is known as a personal narrative.

To determine the child’s skill level, we use a protocol where an adult shares an experience that involves getting sick or hurt. The adult then asks the children to share a similar experience. We’re not trying to upset them by asking about times when they got sick or hurt. We ask about these events because they have what we call emotional salience. Kids are at the top of their skill level when talking about these events. They show us everything they’ve got in terms of storytelling. That’s why sharing a story about a negative experience is part of the assessment process. But of course, the curriculum is not just about bringing up bad experiences. Throughout the curriculum, children have many opportunities to tell stories about a variety of events.

We help them tell their story by asking questions. We talk about words for physical states like hunger. We ask, “What were you thinking at the time?” Parents who really form secure attachments are conscious of their child’s mental state; they’re checking in and mirroring that.

After children finish telling their story, if they haven’t told us already, we ask, “How did you feel?” We ask this of both kids and adults. Some research shows that most of us adults really struggle with naming a feeling outside of some pretty concrete ones: happy, sad, afraid. We don’t get much better than that.

I recently went to a live recording of The Moth Radio Hour. Ten people told stories, and I was amazed at how few internal state words they used. To me, those are what connects us. I can’t really relate to the experience of someone who set a Guinness World Record canoeing on the Mississippi, but I can relate to how it made them feel. When we are able to name feelings, that ability correlates with emotional intelligence. So as parents practice naming their own and others’ feelings, that impacts their ability to engage with their kids.

A favorite definition of self-regulation I ran across that dovetails with what we’re trying to accomplish is, “Self-regulation is monitoring your internal states in relation to your external objective.” The regulating part comes in adjusting either your internal state or your external objective so that you have a match.

Our adult curriculum asks parents to tell their own story. It’s an opportunity to reflect, to problem solve, to process their internal state. With adults, we always end with an affirmation. We recognize something in their story that creates something coherent out of what can feel like chaos–many parents’ lives are chaotic. What we find in adult research on this kind of telling is that the important thing is not whether the storyteller felt successful in the story–it’s how they process it after the fact and see their own agency and what can be built on.

Your curriculum is currently being piloted. How is it going?

The curriculum is being simultaneously written, revised, and piloted. The original version was a six- to eight-week curriculum. Stakeholders gave us wonderful but sometimes painful feedback on that draft. One message that came through is that it needed to be a nine-month curriculum. The new version will last 30 weeks.

We did a “baby” pilot of the new version and found it was headed in the right direction. We were very encouraged, so we began our scheduled pilots at the beginning of the school year with 10 weeks of the curriculum complete. Now I’m writing ahead of the pilot. It feels like running in front of a speeding train, but there’s something about the content that has its own calming, mindful effect. Teachers have even said that the kids are being kinder to each other. One thing I like is hearing from teachers, “I like doing this. It’s fun. The kids like it.” That means it’s developmentally appropriate. We know neurologically that positive engagement facilitates learning. Fun is not optional; fun is mandatory!

From CEED: How to support children’s development with storytelling

October 17, 2023

Maybe it’s the end of your workday and you’re picking up your young child from preschool. As you buckle her into her car seat, she starts telling you about something that happened on the playground. The order of events is hard to follow; plus, your mind is already on what to make for dinner. The most you can do is reply to her with an occasional, absent-minded “uh-huh” as you drive home.

Or maybe you’re a preschool teacher with 11 very active children running in literal circles around the room. Meanwhile, a twelfth preschooler chooses that moment to tell you a complicated story about his dog. Or is it his toy dog? Some of the basic elements just aren’t clear. You smile and nod, then rush to herd the rest of the class over to their carpet squares for morning meeting while the preschooler continues to narrate, apparently to himself.

Do these scenarios sound familiar? When we adults are feeling frazzled, it can be next to impossible to tune in to the stories that young children tell. But did you know that when children share stories about their lives–called personal narratives–they are doing important learning? When we engage with those personal narratives, we’re helping them grow.

Woman with two children on moss-covered bench overlooking a ravine and a railroad bridge — Photo by Benjamin Manley on Unsplash

Children’s stories do more than simply inform us about how they spend their days. Telling stories promotes children’s language development, along with their executive functioning. Executive functioning refers to the set of skills that allow us to control our behavior rather than acting on impulse. Following multi-part directions or working toward a goal are examples of skills that require executive functioning. So is refraining from an impulsive action that could cause harm or get us into trouble, such hitting a friend or yelling in the classroom.

So, why does storytelling affect executive functioning? It turns out that language development and executive functioning are related. Chris Wing, PhD ’13, CCC-SLP, is a speech-language pathologist who has researched that connection. She has found that as we help children work on their communication skills, their executive functioning also improves. There is also evidence that learning to use the vocabulary of emotions and states of mind correlates with the ability to self-regulate. Self-regulation–recognizing our emotions and keeping them in check when we need to–is an important aspect of executive functioning.

“When I talk with kindergarten teachers,” Wing says, “They often tell me, ‘I don’t care if incoming kindergarteners know how to read or know their numbers. I want children to be able to attend, get along with their classmates, and relate to me as a new adult.’ What they are saying is they want children to have learned executive functioning and self-regulation skills.”

Wing believes that storytelling is a great way for young children to work on those skills. That’s why The Family Partnership commissioned Wing to create a preschool curriculum that includes storytelling. The Family Partnership is a Minnesota nonprofit that provides early childhood education along with mental health and other services. Want to make storytelling part of your everyday routine and help children get the most benefit from it? Here are pointers based on the curriculum that Wing developed:

Model storytelling for them by telling a simple story about your day: “Guess what happened to me in line at the grocery store! It was really funny.”
Tell a story with a child or children as a shared event. Start with a question: “Remember when we set up the bird feeder outside our classroom window? Who wants to share what happened next?” Then take turns adding details.
Meet the child where they are. We often ask children lots of questions about events or aspects of their day that we adults are curious about. If these are not the topics that most interest them, though, children likely won’t be as eager to tell about them. Try letting children direct the conversation and share what’s most meaningful to them.
It takes practice to provide the “who, what, where” context that a listener needs. If the child’s story is hard to follow or missing important details, ask questions to fill in the blanks: “Great story! Tell me, what happened first?” Ask about when and where the story occurred, who was there, and what the sequence of events was.
The most important question in Wing’s storytelling curriculum is: “How did you feel?” Try to help children describe how they felt physically and emotionally at the time of the story. Prompt them with words like excited, silly, frustrated, tired, surprised, and hungry.
It’s okay to have big feelings! Storytelling can be a way to work through our thoughts and feelings about negative events. Naming our feelings is an important part of self-regulation, and self-regulation is a major factor in resilience.
Have fun with it! Be as silly or as dramatic as you want. Maybe you want to act out what happened. Maybe you want to tell the story in silly voices. Research shows that positive engagement facilitates learning.

Storytelling doesn’t need to happen at a particular time of day. You don’t need any special materials to do it. And there’s no cleanup required! Storytelling is a simple activity that goes straight to the heart of some of the most important things children need to learn, like language and self-regulation. The next time a preschooler in your life starts telling you the saga of finding a feather on the playground or getting into an argument with a friend, see if you can give them your full attention. (If you’re that preschool teacher with a wild roomful of four-year-olds, it’s okay to ask your little storyteller to hold that thought and connect with him later!) Experiment with some of Wing’s strategies. You might just get inspired to share a personal narrative of your own. What stories do you have to tell?

From CEED: NEW! Part two in our Tip Sheet series on Authentic Assessment

October 17, 2023

Authentic Assessment is recommended practice for early childhood educators. It lets them see the big picture of a child’s development. The Authentic Assessment Cycle helps educators get a sense of the skills that the child has acquired and what they have learned. It also helps educators adjust their lesson plans to support children’s progress. (Learn more about how the Authentic Assessment Cycle works in our first Tip Sheet in the series.)

Educators also need to know whether a child is gaining skills and knowledge at a rate that’s typical for their age. To know that, they need to compare the child’s development with a set of guidelines. Our second Tip Sheet in our Authentic Assessment series is called Introducting It: Using the Early Learning Guidelines to Track Development for Assessment. It talks about two different sets of guidelines that educators can refer to: developmental milestones and Early Childhood Indicators of Progress (ECIPs). The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention offer information on developmental milestones. The ECIPs, meanwhile, are from the Minnesota Department of Education. They describe what children should know and be able to do by the time they enter kindergarten.

FINAL Tip Sheet_Early Learning Guidelines (Theory) 9.19.23 Download

Make sure to check out all of our Tip Sheets! Do you have feedback for us, or an idea for a topic you’d like to see explored in a Tip Sheet? Email us!

Largest long-term study of early brain and child development launches at University of Minnesota

September 5, 2023

Landmark study will seek to answer unknowns about long-term effects of prenatal exposure to opioids and other substances.

MINNEAPOLIS/ST. PAUL (09/05/2023) —University of Minnesota researchers are launching enrollment for the largest long-term study of early brain and child development in the United States. The HEALthy Brain and Child Development (HBCD) study, is now enrolling individuals from around the United States, including in Minnesota, who are in the second trimester of pregnancy.

The University of Minnesota was selected as one of 28 recruitment sites across the country for the project, and also serves a key role in the central HBCD Data Coordinating Center. The study will enroll about 7,500 pregnant people nationwide and follow them and their children for up to 10 years through infancy and childhood. The HBCD study is part of the broader National Institutes of Health Helping to End Addiction Long-term Initiative, or NIH HEAL Initiative, to learn, in part, more about the long-term effects of prenatal exposure to opioids on infant and child development. In addition, it is expected to identify key developmental windows during which both harmful and protective environmental factors have the most influence on later neurodevelopmental outcomes.

“Many mental health disorders that appear later in life have developmental origins in the first 1000 days. Understanding how to get kids off to a healthy start and identifying which kids are at risk is key to protecting the brain across the lifespan and an investment in our future generations,” said Michael Georgieff, co-director of the Masonic Institute for the Developing Brain (MIDB).

In Minnesota, the researchers will collaborate with a network of about 20 birth and addiction treatment centers to connect with participants across the state, with the goal of including rural residents and historically underrepresented populations. Information gathered during pregnancy and at various points throughout early childhood will include:

Pictures of the brain
Measures of physical growth
Samples of blood and saliva
Medical and family history surveys
Information about social, emotional, and cognitive development

“This is a pivotal moment for our society to begin gaining a deeper understanding of child development, including the potential long-term impacts of substance exposure during pregnancy, and a host of other environmental factors, on the developing brain,” said Sylia Wilson, an associate professor in the Institute of Child Development. “This research will give us a more complete picture of healthy brain development for all children.”

The University of Minnesota received two grants expected to provide $26 million over five years for the HBCD study. A $6 million, 5-year grant led by Wilson, Georgieff, and Anna Zilverstand, an assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the Medical School, establishes Minnesota as one of 28 data collection sites across the country. The study aims to include recruitment of pregnant people from regions of the country significantly impacted by the opioid crisis.

The second grant, expected to total $20 million for five years, includes Damien Fair, co-director for the Masonic Institute for the Developing Brain, along with collaborators Christopher Smyser from Washington University in St. Louis and Anders Dale from the University of California San Diego. They are charged with leading and managing the state-of-the-art, longitudinal data set that will address crucial questions about the impact of environmental factors on brain and behavioral health. This landmark study is expected to shape research, clinical care, and public policy for decades to come.

“This study is providing an unprecedented look inside the earliest stages of brain development with the most advanced neuroimaging technology to date,” Fair said. “It will provide the foundation for understanding and optimizing brain health in our youth for years to come. The establishment of the MIDB and investments in interdisciplinary research here in Minnesota has allowed us to play a lead role in establishing this prominent national study.”

To learn more about enrolling in the study, visit https://hbcdstudy.org/

The HBCD Study is funded through the Helping to End Addiction Long-term Initiative, or NIH HEAL Initiative, and by numerous institutes and offices at the National Institutes of Health, and is led by the National Institute on Drug Abuse. The University of Minnesota’s work is supported by the NIH through grant numbers 5U01DA055371 and 5U24DA055330. The content is solely the responsibility of the authors and does not necessarily represent the official views of the National Institutes of Health.

###

About the Masonic Institute for the Developing Brain

The Masonic Institute for the Developing Brain (MIDB) is a one-stop clinic, research, and outreach location specializing in children and youth with neurobehavioral conditions. By bringing together University of Minnesota experts in pediatric medicine, research, policy and community supports to understand, prevent, diagnose, and treat neurodevelopmental disorders in early childhood and adolescence, MIDB advances brain health from the earliest stages of development across the lifespan, supporting each person’s journey as a valued community member. Learn more at midb.umn.edu.

About the University of Minnesota Medical School
The University of Minnesota Medical School is at the forefront of learning and discovery, transforming medical care and educating the next generation of physicians. Our graduates and faculty produce high-impact biomedical research and advance the practice of medicine. We acknowledge that the U of M Medical School, both the Twin Cities campus and Duluth campus, is located on traditional, ancestral and contemporary lands of the Dakota and the Ojibwe, and scores of other Indigenous people, and we affirm our commitment to tribal communities and their sovereignty as we seek to improve and strengthen our relations with tribal nations. For more information about the U of M Medical School, please visit med.umn.edu.

About the College of Education and Human Development
The University of Minnesota College of Education and Human Development (CEHD) strives to teach, advance research and engage with the community to increase opportunities for all individuals. As the third largest college on the Twin Cities campus, CEHD research and specialties focus on a range of challenges, including: educational equity, teaching and learning innovations, children’s mental health and development, family resilience, and healthy aging. Learn more at cehd.umn.edu.

Contact: Rachel Cain, University Relations, rcain@umn.edu

From CEED: Beyond the “cleanup song”: supporting young children’s development with music

June 21, 2023

I started piano lessons when I was three or four, small enough that I remember having to climb up on the piano bench. My feet swung beneath me as I started learning how to read the keyboard and the sheet music in front of me. I’ve always felt learning music helped me grow in many ways. Think of everything that goes into it: the math skills to understand rhythms, chords, and harmony; the ability to collaborate with other musicians; the self-confidence to play a solo.

In fact, researchers have found that music enrichment may impact child development in important areas, from motor skills to social-emotional development. As Dennie Palmer Wolf, PhD, reports, “Making music is one of the most intense, multi-sensory, and physically involving activities in which young children engage.”

Read on for more on the evidence behind integrating music into your routine, as well as practical strategies from music therapist Jessica Lee.

Motor skills

Music and movement go hand in hand. Many children are naturally inclined to move when they hear a good beat. For young children, musical play can mean simple movements like dancing, clapping and stomping, or throwing a ball in time with a beat. Researchers have found that musical training is associated with changes in areas of the brain related to movement. It also strengthens connections between brain regions. Unsurprisingly, learning to play an instrument enhances fine motor abilities generally.

Cognitive skills and language ability

You can hear it in the rhythms and rhymes of nursery rhymes and lullabies: music and language are intrinsically linked. Research suggests a positive association between musical training and speech processing and language learning. Not only that, but at least one study found that kindergarteners who received keyboard instruction did better on arranging puzzle pieces and blocks to create different objects, suggesting a boost to spatial-temporal skills. Musical training may also enhance memory, increasing brain plasticity even in adults.

Social-emotional skills

Researchers have examined the impact of music enrichment on young children’s ability to regulate both positive and negative emotions. As the authors of a study of arts-integrated programming for low-income children reflect, “Experiences with the arts elicit a range of emotions, and may help children to understand connections between events and feelings, as well as practice appropriate strategies for emotion regulation.” One study of four-year olds even found that making music together seemed to increase “spontaneous cooperative and helpful behavior.” It makes intuitive sense: group music-making involves listening, taking turns, and coordinating with others to create a community of sound.

A sense of belonging

Music is a universal part of human culture. It offers the opportunity to share in a global community and to share one’s own culture with others. Students whose background differs from the predominant culture benefit from seeing their home culture reflected in the classroom. “In the field of music education, where creativity and personal expression are valued, it is especially important to address the disconnect that students may perceive between home and school cultures,” writes Kate Fitzpatrick, PhD, in “Cultural Diversity and the Formation of Identity: Our Role as Music Teachers.” Additionally, when given the opportunity to share elements of their home culture with their peers, children build agency and confidence in their identities.

A child wearing a purple sweater with a small pink sticker on the back of her hand presses a key on a piano keyboard with her index finger. — Photo by Siniz Kim on Unsplash

Tips for working with young children

We reached out to Jessica Lee, a board certified music therapist, director of Ensemble Music, and parent, to learn ways in which early childhood practitioners (and parents) can integrate music into their routines.

“Music has a certain power that words can’t describe,” says Lee. “It connects us, soothes us, and improves our mood. Along with the joy that music brings us, it also helps promote growth in various developmental domains.”

Lee shared the following advice on supporting children’s growth through music.

Physical development

Provide many opportunities for movements large and small.
Think about giving children opportunities to move in all kinds of ways (left/right, forward/backward, up/down, unilaterally/bilaterally, etc).
This helps children develop balance, spatial awareness, and fine and gross motor skills.

Cognitive development

Sing songs that include counting, sequencing or telling a story (“Five Little Monkeys”, “This Old Man”, “I Know an Old Lady”, etc.).
The rhythm and repetition in songs like these help children remember and anticipate number sequences and patterns, building early math and reading skills.

Self-regulation

Leave out words or phrases in a song or provide opportunities in a song for “freeze” moments.
Children learn what it feels like to resist doing something, helping them practice impulse control.

Prosocial skills

Plan activities within a song that encourage children to work together.
Movements like rowing, hand clapping patterns, and passing instruments give children an opportunity to work together and read others’ emotions, helping them develop empathy.

Leadership skills

Give children an opportunity to pick a song or a movement for a song.
Accepting and including their suggestions–even if they don’t always fit (think: a dog that says “quack”!)–encourages leadership skills and creativity.
Children gain self-confidence when they feel their song interpretation is accepted by you.

Reminder: Have Fun!

In the decades since I picked out my first piano tunes, I’ve had the good fortune to try many different instruments, sing in choirs, and play in groups. I love playing with others, laughing at ourselves when we sound terrible and feeling elated when we’re in sync. I value my formal music education, but the most important part to me is simple enjoyment.

“The most important thing to know about doing music with children is that it has to be fun and playful,” says Lee. “Children learn from music engagement, not music talent, so no matter how ‘musical’ you perceive yourself to be, let the children in your life see you enjoy music. They are sure to join you and grow up knowing that music is for everyone!”

Jessica Lee is a board-certified music therapist working in an inpatient child/adolescent behavioral hospital unit, as well as the director of Ensemble Music, which specializes in early childhood music and movement classes in the Twin Cities. She is the proud mom to three wonderful children and feels fortunate to be able to make music with families every day.

From CEED: Tip Sheets on Executive Function

May 19, 2023

Our new series of evidence-based Tip Sheets explore topics of relevance to early childhood professionals. Our latest Tip Sheets on Executive Function are now available!

Each topic has an Introducing It Tip Sheet and an Applying It Tip Sheet. The Introducing It Tip Sheet gives background information and current research about the topic. You can think of this as the “why” behind our recommendations. The Applying It Tip Sheet suggests ways to implement your new knowledge. This explores the “how” of each topic.

Download these free resources, and make sure to check out the other Tip Sheets in the series.

Introvert? Extrovert? Or other?

March 24, 2023

By Anna Landes Benz

Happy National Introverts Week! If you’re an introvert, we celebrate you. If you know an introvert, this post might help you better understand them. If you’re an extrovert or an ambivert…well, they don’t have a national week of recognition for you yet. You might have to make your own!

My father loves to tell a story from my childhood that depicts the difference between me and my older brother. We’re on a plane going to visit our grandparents. My brother is around six years old and content to sit in his seat, not wanting his feet to touch the ground. I’m around three, and I’m on the floor, crawling around. I sneak out from our row and almost get run over by the beverage trolley as I try to crawl past the curtain separating first class from everyone else.

As I grew older I identified a lot with my father, an extreme “people person.” I was a very outwardly expressive child. Enthusiastic. Energetic. Big feelings and emotions that I needed to share with everyone. Despite being small, I was loud with big opinions. I always assumed I was an extrovert, because I was boisterous, energetic, and enthusiastic about exploring the world around me.

And then the COVID-19 pandemic hit. I was surprised to find myself very content to be at home “hermiting,” as I call it. Get-togethers were canceled or moved online, where we were still able to connect with friends, but separately, from our respective homes. Professional responsibilities went virtual, and I spent less time both commuting and transitioning between events. All of this made me question how I saw myself. Had I changed over time? Had the pandemic changed me? Or was I never an extrovert to begin with?

A young child covers her face with her hands. — Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

The Introversion-Extroversion Spectrum

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., describes introverts and extroverts this way in her book The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child:

Introverts generally prefer stimulation in small, manageable doses, whereas extroverts seek lots of action and excitement. An introvert may pursue topics in depth, while an extrovert would be more oriented toward breadth…. An introvert often needs time to “process” his emotions before responding; an extrovert is more likely to react in the moment.

These classifications have been around for quite a while. None other than Carl Jung, the pioneering psychiatrist, proposed the idea of introversion and extroversion way back in 1921. These days, we often classify people as introverts or extroverts based on what gives them energy or what allows them to recharge their battery. Introverts are often described as feeling drained after socializing and needing time alone to recharge. Extroverts are said to get energy from being around people. But things may not be as simple as that binary would suggest. As early as 1927, Edna Heidbreder published the results of a study conducted at the University of Minnesota which concluded that “Introverts and extroverts are not distinct types, but belong to a single mixed type of which introversion and extroversion are the extremes.” Most people fall somewhere in between on a spectrum. Maybe, instead of being purely an extrovert as I had always assumed, I was actually somewhere in the middle, like most people.

As for whether extroverts can become introverts or vice versa, there is debate in the psychology field about how much personality traits (like the “Big Five,” of which extroversion is one) change over the lifespan. There is some evidence that people mellow out as they age, and a recent study even found that the pandemic might have caused at least temporary changes in people’s personalities. Maybe my newfound enjoyment of “hermiting” was part of that shift.

Why does this matter?

It remains to be seen whether I will return to my pre-pandemic level of extroversion. For now, my experience has made me more attuned to the needs of the introverts in my life. Whether we are stuck with our temperament from birth, our personalities adapt to our early environment, or our traits are fluid and change over time, it can be helpful to have words and language to better understand who we are and how to interact with those around us. This is especially true when we support the development of young children, who are still building their understanding of the world within and around them and learning how to communicate what they’re discovering and feeling.

The Characteristics of an Introverted Child

Jenn Granneman, author of The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World, posits that introverted children share certain characteristics. Bearing in mind that every child is unique and that we exist on an introversion-extroversion spectrum, Granneman’s description of introverted children resonated with my experiences. According to Granneman, such children:

have rich inner lives
reflect on their life and experiences
are intent observers
are resistant to peer pressure
warm up slowly to new people and environments
may struggle in formal group settings like child care centers and schools
prefer to socialize with one other person or in small groups.

Knowing all of this, what can we do to support children–whether at home or in our work–when they tend more towards introversion?

General tips for supporting introverted children

Create routines that help to settle the nervous system and give space for quiet after stimulating situations. This may be especially helpful at transition times like arriving home from school or getting ready for bed.
Make a plan and practice. If small talk or approaching a potential new friend is hard for a child, talk through their feelings in advance. Role-play initiating conversations. When the time comes for a child to introduce themself to a new friend, ask someone to play, or strike up a conversation, they can partner with a buddy who may already have these skills. Alternatively, their caregiver can act as a buddy and then slowly leave the interaction, letting the child continue the conversation on their own once they are comfortable.

Supporting introverted children in a child care or school-based setting

Look at your classroom from multiple perspectives. Do you have a mix of spaces, activities, and ways of responding that allow all children to be themselves?
Some children are quick to answer and raise their hands right away. Others never get the chance, because by the time they’ve collected their thoughts and composed their answers, the discussion has moved on. Those children may need a bit more time to build the courage to express themselves, especially in a group discussion. Be sure to leave thinking time.
Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, try to make sure that your preferences aren’t unduly influencing how you set up, teach, and respond in your classroom.
Find picture books that depict all types of children being the hero in the story.
Talk as a class about differences and similarities within your classroom. Discuss how children feel in different situations, helping them articulate what they need to be their best.
Young children are still developing vocabulary and language skills, and some kids find using visuals easier when their emotions are heightened, so consider using visual cue cards. Cue cards can help with talking about emotions and identifying strategies for self-regulation. They can also be used to communicate when emotions are heightened and a child needs a break. Head Start has some great resources to get you started.
Brainstorm ideas to support different children’s needs, and let young learners take some initiative in implementing their ideas. Maybe they want to create a quiet space within the classroom. Or maybe they want a way to remind one another when the volume in the classroom is getting too loud.
Make individual plans with children who need quiet or alone time. Develop a secret hand signal they can give you when they need a break, or practice using the cue cards we talked about earlier. Make a plan for where they can go and what they can do during their break.
Practice. Give children reminders. Help them recognize within themselves signals that they may need some quiet time.

Supporting introverted children at home

Create a retreat or restorative niche. Often these are quiet, calm places with adjustable lighting. You might include some calming sensory experiences such as the smell of lavender or a soft toy or pillow to hug. Create this as a family so that everyone feels included.
Find stories at your local library about kids handling overwhelming situations and environments. If you don’t know where to start, ask a librarian. They are superheroes of the library!
Make a list of calming actions to do alone or together when your child starts to feel overwhelmed:

Deep breathing
Taking a break
Putting on noise-canceling headphones
Using a weighted blanket
Getting outside to observe and listen to nature
Doing something rhythmic and repetitive
Swinging on a swing
Bouncing a ball on a point
Jumping on a mini-trampoline
Hugging a pillow or stuffed animal
Listening to a piece of music to help reset
Making a cup of tea or a snack, focusing the brain on the process
Cuddling a pet (as long as the pet is okay with it!)

Whether you’re an infant, a toddler, a preschooler, a teen, or an adult, an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between, it’s important that your individual differences are honored. When, as early childhood professionals, we are aware of the full spectrum of human desire for both social contact and quiet solitude, we are better able to meet children’s needs.

All of us need time to recharge; recharging is directly related to improved mental and physical health. As parents or caregivers or in our professional lives, making this a part of our routine means that when we really need it, we automatically have several tools to use when we need them.

Further resources:

Susan Cain is the author of two popular books about introverts: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking and Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids. If you are short on reading time, she also has a TED talk.

Brightly has a roundup of books with introverted characters that includes picture books as well as books for middle grade and young adult readers.

Do grown-ups play pretend?

January 6, 2023

By Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD

Mo Willems’ Elephant and Piggie books are favorites in our household. Willems has a knack for addressing both children and the adults who are reading to them. In I’m a Frog, Piggie teaches her friend Gerald about imaginative play. “You can just go out and pretend to be something you are not!?” Gerald asks in disbelief. Piggie replies, “Sure. Everyone pretends.” “Even grown-up people?” asks Gerald. Piggie’s answer: “All the time.”

Maybe Piggie is referring to imposter syndrome or the pressure that many adults feel to “fake it till we make it.” But given that we’re in a cultural moment where cosplay, live-action role playing (or LARPing), and Dungeons & Dragons are enjoying a surge in popularity, I also wonder about taking Piggie’s statement literally: we “grown-up people” really do enjoy playing pretend.

Maybe you’ve never been to a comic con, and you haven’t put on a costume since you gave up trick-or-treating. But I’d argue that the majority of what adults do for entertainment still engages our imagination. Think about the types of entertainment you enjoy. Do you look forward to a regular game night? Do you like to curl up with a good book? Which are your favorite movies and TV shows? Why do you like these forms of recreation? I asked friends and coworkers what they look for in a book, movie, or TV show. They answered:

To escape my day-to-day
To travel and have adventures
To watch people use skills I don’t have
To understand other people and why they are the way they are
To learn about how the world works
To laugh

Media fire our imagination and tap into humans’ connection to stories. A baking show allows us to try on the idea of being a baker, even if we rarely turn on the oven. A character-driven novel helps us empathize with people who are different from ourselves. A superhero movie gives us the chance to escape the mundane and experience feeling powerful. These are all strikingly similar to the reasons why children play.

A person wearing bracelets and a yellow sweater chooses a book from a row of books on a shelf — Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, MSed, writes in the journal of the American Association of Pediatrics:

Play allows children to create and explore a world they can master, conquering their fears while practicing adult roles, sometimes in conjunction with other children or adult caregivers. As they master their world, play helps children develop new competencies that lead to enhanced confidence and the resiliency they will need to face future challenges.

I think that we adults turn to our favorite forms of entertainment for similar benefits.

The benefits of play

We know a lot about the importance of play in childhood. Fred Rogers said, “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning.” I remember reading about the various functions of play in my undergraduate textbook. At the time, I was skeptical; I couldn’t remember engaging in play as a child that specifically addressed social-emotional needs. But as an adult, I’ve often thought back to those functions of play as I watched the children around me. Having fun is certainly part of play. But play offers other important benefits, including:

Helping children master anxieties and conflicts;
Allowing children to practice skills like saying “hi” and making friends
Giving children a chance to be “in charge”; they may pretend to be a parent, a doctor, a teacher, etc.

The psychologist Lev Vygotsky said, “In play a child is always above his average age, above his daily behavior; in play it is as though he were a head taller than himself.” When my nephew was little, his family’s apartment was near their building’s dumpsters. The noisy weekly process of emptying the dumpsters scared my nephew. His response? Become the garbage collector. My nephew played “garbage truck” exclusively for months, constructing neighborhoods where his toy truck could empty bins over and over, and ultimately, conquering his fears.

An acquaintance described an experience in which she turned to pop culture to allay her fears, just as my nephew turned to imaginative play. Nervous about giving birth to her first child, my acquaintance decided to try and channel one of her favorite cultural icons, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, to prepare mentally for the experience of labor. A study done here at the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development attests to the effectiveness of this strategy. Researchers Rachel E. White, PhD, and Emily O. Prager, PhD, described what they called the “Batman effect”: children persevered at a task longer when they pretended to be a heroic character. My acquaintance, too, took advantage of the “Buffy effect.”

Psychological distance in play

A key aspect of the Batman effect is that pretending to be someone else allows us to psychologically distance ourselves from a situation. Psychological distance means we’re less emotionally involved and more able to use our executive function skills–like working towards a goal or controlling our impulses. Recently, my 2-year-old daughter was playing with her toy puppies. She pretended that the puppies were fighting over which would go into the swimming pool first. My 4-year-old daughter pretended to be the puppies’ mom and said, “Let’s think about a way that we could work this out for both of you.” Would my daughter have taken this calm, logical approach in a real disagreement with her sister? Probably not! Her psychological distance from the puppies’ disagreement opened up the opportunity to practice her conflict resolution skills in a way that was “a head taller” than her typical behavior in her own life.

Similarly, adults may favor content that they can maintain at least some psychological distance from. I’ve heard from a number of parents that since having children, they avoid books and movies whose plots include threats to children. These are too close to home, too emotionally activating. Certainly, narratives are most engrossing when we care about the characters and situations presented, but we don’t want to care too much.

Experiencing mastery through imagination

I’m struck by the fact that two of the most enduring fiction genres are romance and mystery. These stories can be repetitive: the couple always gets together, the detective always catches the bad guy. Maybe these classic genres are so appealing because they address some of the biggest life challenges that adults face in the modern world: creating connection and acceptance, and conquering the threat of living in a society with other people. Yet romances and mysteries explore these challenges in ways that preserve our psychological distance by being very different from our actual situations, and their endings resolve the messiness of interpersonal relationships. While children may want to read the exact same picture book ten times in a day, the adult version of mastery through repetition may look like consistently engaging with familiar genres.

All of us–adults and children alike–are looking for mastery and control over our lives. My spouse has a demanding job as a hospital physical therapist. He is also a parent to two young children with lots of their own opinions. In short, his daily life involves a lot of interactions where he doesn’t have control over the other person’s emotions or reactions. Even after a long week, he likes to relax by playing complex strategy games like Everdell, Wingspan, Pandemic, or Scythe. These games offer the opportunity to make decisions that have a direct and immediate effect on the outcome of the game. Win or lose, you control the imaginary world of the game. Table-top games may also offer escape from unpredictable social interactions, or even the opportunity to practice social skills and process experiences. In a recent Wired article about the therapeutic use of table-top role-playing games, one mental health practitioner touted the “life-magic of narrative social play.”

Play is part of the work of growing up. It helps children practice skills and experience a sense of mastery that builds confidence. Is the same true for adults? I wonder how we might benefit from prioritizing play and imagination in our lives, whether it be at work or at home with our families and friends. How can you use your entertainment and leisure time intentionally to provide fulfilling self-care? What do you do to play? How will you use your imagination today?

Smith to present paper at 66th annual Human Factors meeting

July 5, 2022

Thomas Smith Smiling — Thomas Smith, PhD

Thomas Smith, PhD, a lecturer in the School of Kinesiology, has a paper accepted for presentation at the Human Factors & Ergonomics Society (HFES) 66th Annual Meeting, in Atlanta, Georgia in October 2022. The paper, entitled “Learning is Compromised during Remote Instruction—A Social Cybernetic Analysis,” will be presented at an HFES Education Technical Group lecture session, and also will be published in the proceedings for this meeting.

Building Family Resiliency: a new podcast for early childhood professionals

June 21, 2022

A new podcast aims to support professionals who work with young children and their families by providing accessible information about child development and family relationships. The podcast, entitled Building Family Resiliency: Community Voices, Community Perspectives, is the result of a collaborative effort by Deborah Ottman, professional development coordinator at CEED, and Jennifer Hall-Lande, PhD, research associate at the Institute on Community Integration and CDC Act Early Ambassador to Minnesota. The podcast grew out of a desire to address the additional stressors that Minnesota families have faced during the COVID-19 pandemic. These stressors, say Ottman and Hall-Lande, may impact the ability of families to build resiliency.

Building Family Resiliency was funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) as part of their Learn the Signs Act Early initiative, which encourages families, communities, and organizations to screen children for potential developmental delays early on. Learn the Signs Act Early also offers a wealth of free developmental tools for parents and professionals.

For each episode of the podcast, Ottman interviewed one or more experts or helping professionals from different communities and early childhood fields. Listeners will hear from these guests about different facets of resiliency, from the science of brain development to self-care for child care providers. They will learn about what resiliency can look like across the richly diverse cultures and communities that make up our state. And they will gain information on how adults can best support the healthy development of the children in their lives.

“It was a privilege to sit down with researchers and professionals from different fields, all of whom have children’s wellbeing at heart, and talk about the concept of resiliency,” says Ottman. “My hope is that listeners will find the podcast format to be an easy, enjoyable way to access the information that our experts shared.”

All nine episodes of Building Family Resiliency are available to stream on the Institute on Community Integration’s MN Act Early website and on CEED’s YouTube channel.

Episode 1: “Welcome to the podcast!” with Deb Ottman and Jennifer Hall-Lande, PhD

Episode 2: “What contributes to building resiliency in early childhood?” with Anne Gearity, PhD

Episode 3: “Resiliency and early childhood development” with Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD

Episode 4: “Learn the Signs, Act Early and Help Me Grow: joined links in the resiliency chain” with Jennifer Hall-Lande, PhD, and Anna Paulson

Episode 5: “Filling the resiliency well: childcare providers caring for children, families and themselves” with Priscilla Weigel and Palm Walz

Episode 6: “Community voices, community perspectives: building resiliency in the Latino community” with Andrea Castillo

Episode 7: “Community voices, community perspectives: building resiliency in the Hmong community” with Julie Li Yang and Bao Vang

Episode 8: “Community voices, community perspectives: building resiliency in the African-American community” with Andre Dukes and Sierra Leone Williams

Episode 9: “Community voices, community perspectives: building resiliency in the Native American community” with Karla Sorby Decker

“We’re really excited to share this new resource with early childhood practitioners as well as parents,” says Hall-Lande. “I was delighted to be interviewed for Episode 4, which relates to my work on Learn the Signs Act Early. In that episode, we talk about the importance of screening for developmental delays such as signs of autism spectrum disorder. The science shows that the earlier we catch those signs and intervene with kids, the better the outcomes for kids and their families.”

“Both CEED and the Institute on Community Integration have a shared purpose of supporting the helpers who work with children and families,” adds Ann Bailey, PhD, director of CEED. “This podcast is a new way of providing support, and it’s also a way of saying to that community of helpers: we see you, and we value the work you are doing.”

Listen to the podcast.

Smith publishes on perception of time in Ergonomics of Design

May 27, 2022

Thomas Smith, PhD, lecturer in the School of Kinesiology, has recently had his research, “Experiencing Time – A Commentary on Recent Perspectives on the Perception of Time”, accepted for publication in the journal, Ergonomics in Design. Smith’s research clearly shows that an experimental protocol can be devised demonstrating that the passage of time is not directly perceived. The findings thus support previous observational claims that time is not perceived. The implication is that, down through the millennia, behavioral efforts to design proxies for detecting the passage of time and thus experiencing time – i.e., early pyramids and temples, and more recent timekeeping technologies such as the hourglass, clocks and watches, or the atomic clock – allow us to control temporal influences on our behavior. One implication of the research is that the passage of time represents the only environmental stimulus that cannot be directly experienced as perceived sensory feedback.”

Smith to present at 64th HFES meeting, appointed as chair of HFES Education Technical Group

March 16, 2022

Thomas Smith, PhD, lecturer in the School of Kinesiology, has recently had his paper entitled “Learning is Compromised during Remote Instruction – A Social Cybernetic Analysis” accepted for presentation at the 64th Annual meeting of the Human Factors & Ergonomics Society (HFES). The paper will subsequently be published in the 2022 Proceedings of the HFES. Along with his publication, Smith has also been appointed Chair of the HFES Education Technical Group for a 2-year term.

Smith publishes manuscript on perception of time

February 23, 2022

Thomas Smith, PhD, lecturer in the School of Kinesiology, has recently had his manuscript, “Experiencing Time – A Commentary on Recent Perspectives on the Perception of Time”, accepted for publication in the journal, Ergonomics in Design. Smith’s research demonstrates that the passage of time is not directly perceived. This conclusion is supported by the fact that all through the millennia, there have been recurrent ergonomic efforts to design technological proxies – from the pyramids to the atomic clock – for detecting the passage of time. These efforts point to our reliance on technology, rather than our own sensory feedback control capabilities, to track time. The implication of the research is that time represents the only environmental stimulus that cannot be directly experienced as perceived sensory feedback.

Did you catch Alyssa Meuwissen on KSTP?

January 3, 2022

Research Associate Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD, appeared on Minnesota Live to discuss the challenges that children (and adults) have experienced in adapting to in-person school and activities after months of social distancing early on in the pandemic.

Watch the video.

Meuwissen compared our rusty social skills to a muscle that needs strengthening through practice. One way for parents and caregivers to help children practice these skills is to engage in pretend play with them. Adults can help children act out social scenarios with dolls and puppets, trying out different ways to respond, for example when meeting someone for the first time or asking another child to play.

Smith co-authors papers for 2021 Triennial Meeting of the IEA

June 2, 2021

Thomas Smith, PhD, lecturer in the School of Kinesiology, is a co-author on two papers accepted for virtual presentation and publication in the Proceedings for the forthcoming 2021 Triennial Meeting of the International Ergonomics Association (IEA). Those papers are titled “University Student Experiences with Mandated Home Isolation,” with co-author, Hannah Griebel and “Reliability of Heuristic Evaluation during Usability Analysis,” with co-author, Cindy Kheng.

Smith to present at the International Ergonomics Association conference

February 16, 2021

Thomas J. Smith, PhD, adjunct professor for the School of Kinesiology, co-authored two papers that have been accepted for presentation and publication in the proceedings of the upcoming 21st Triennial Conference of the International Ergonomics Association. The conference will take place virtually June 13-18.

Paper titles are: 1) “University Student Experiences with Mandated Home Isolation” (Hannah Griebel co-author); and 2) “Reliability of Heuristic Evaluation during Usability Analysis” (co-author Cindy Kheng). Griebel is a Master’s candidate, and Kheng a Master’s recipient, from the University of Minnesota’s Human Factors and Ergonomics Graduate Program.

Smith has also been elected as the next Chair of the Human Factors and Ergonomics Society Education Technical Group

The pandemic’s biggest impact on children? How it affects adults

February 2, 2021

By Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD, Research Associate

Parents and caregivers have a lot to think and worry about during the COVID-19 pandemic. I’ve written about parental concerns around lack of socialization and novel experiences, as well as questions about mask-wearing and increased screen time. I’ve provided some research-based information that I hope will ease parents’ and caregivers’ minds and help them make the most of children’s interactions with them and with others in these challenging times. However, my biggest child development concern actually relates to how the pandemic is affecting us, the adults.

Experience-expectant processes: what really matters right now

Relationships with adults are, by far, the most foundational component of healthy child development. Children rely on responsive interactions with their caregivers to build brain development. Relationships with stable, nurturing adults create a buffer for children from the negative impact of stressful or traumatic events.

A young child looks out a window with their hands placed on the windowpane

Will children be impacted by the stress their parents and caregivers are feeling?

My short answer: The good news is that “good enough” parenting really is good enough. You do not have to respond to your child at every moment, and you can continue to nurture and grow your relationship even through instances of conflict. That is true even when the adult is the one who loses their cool.

What is concerning is that for some families, the pandemic creates substantial barriers to high-quality parent-child relationships. The stress of losing a job, housing, or food security; the loss of social support; increased depression and anxiety—all of these factors have the potential to negatively impact the interactions that children have in their homes.

Similarly, for children in child care or early education settings, stress on providers is known to negatively impact positive relationships with children and even increase the likelihood of expelling children from programs. When professional caregivers are overwhelmed due to ever-changing policies and concerns about finances and job stability, it impacts the care they can provide to children. Also, as children re-enter schools and child care after interruptions caused by the pandemic, providers will be challenged to support children with less experience in social situations and more early life stress than they had previously.

This is most concerning for:

Families already experiencing poverty or other major stressors
Families with existing mental health concerns
Families dealing with racial injustice and discrimination

What can we do to mitigate concerns?

In order to stop the pandemic from hurting the development of young children, we must support the adults who are caring for them.

As parents, we can intentionally repair relationships with our children when needed. While they don’t need to know details, it’s OK for them to know that you are stressed and that sometimes you get impatient or mad, but that it’s not their fault and you still love them.
For parents, staying connected with a social support group and doing what you can to support your own mental health is important, but in many situations can only go so far. Policies and programs that can directly address the major stressors in family’s lives (e.g., financial insecurity, mental health concerns) are needed to ensure that children are given a chance to thrive.
Similarly, people who work in early childhood care and education need to be given the practical and emotional support necessary for them to continue to serve children and families under high stress. Policies and programs need to be put in place to ensure providers have access to the knowledge and skills necessary to support children. They must also have adequate time and support to meet the demands of their job.
For those who work in early childhood education, reflective supervision is a growing professional development practice that can provide emotional support and an outlet for the stress that frontline professionals are subject to. You can download a free e-book from the Reflective Practice Center at CEED to learn more about the benefits of reflective supervision.

Selma Fraiberg, a pioneer in infant mental health, once said that working to promote healthy development in young children is “a little like having God on your side.” Children have an amazing ability to grow and thrive in a huge variety of circumstances. Yes, the pandemic is affecting children’s lives here and now, limiting their opportunity for peer interaction and a variety of experiences, but this year will only be one block in building their development.

At the same time, the pandemic can affect child development by disrupting the nurturing relationships between children and their caregivers. This is both COVID-19’s most significant potential threat to child development and the most difficult to address, because it requires a commitment from policymakers to support both families and the child care and education systems that they depend on. As we continue through what we hope are the final months of the pandemic and look forward to the recovery phase, let’s make sure to focus on giving parents and caregivers the support they need to be there for their children.

The middle ground: supporting children’s brain development during the pandemic

February 2, 2021

By Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD, Research Associate

Parents and caregivers are understandably concerned about how our changed lifestyle amid the COVID-19 pandemic is affecting children. In my previous post on the subject, I explained how I categorized some of parents’ most common questions based on a theory of brain development that breaks learning down into experience-expectant and experience-dependent processes. Experience-dependent processes can occur anytime in life. (In other words, if your two-year-old is missing out on peer interactions right now, don’t worry: she can catch up next year.)

In this installment, I’ll address aspects of the pandemic that I think fall into a kind of middle ground. These aspects alter the environment that the developing brain is set up to learn from. That means they can cross the line into affecting experience-expectant processes and so are areas of potential concern. The good news is that adults can act to mitigate these experiences so that they don’t affect children in the long term.

Will babies be affected by seeing adults wearing masks?

Beginning at birth, babies prefer to look at faces—even drawings of faces or face-like shapes—above all else. It’s clear that they’re biologically programmed to seek out faces and that caregivers’ emotional expressions provide crucial information about the world around them. Adults in public places are now wearing masks, making their faces distinctly less face-like, and hiding our mouths, which are the most obvious indicators of smiles.

A woman wearing a face mask holds a baby

My short answer: Babies are incredibly resilient. They can probably learn a lot in whatever time they have with unmasked adults. It’s unlikely that sometimes seeing adults, including primary caregivers, in masks will have a great impact on children’s development—although babies may notice and even show some distress. However, children who spend long hours in settings with masked caregivers may not be getting critical input that the developing brain expects and relies on. I don’t know of any research at this time that can point to how much unmasked time is enough.

This is most concerning for:

Children who spend long hours in child care settings with masked providers
Young babies who don’t have the vision and cognition to process the variety of environmental cues that toddlers and preschoolers do
Children with developmental delays or difficulties with emotion regulation or perspective-taking

What can we do to mitigate concerns?

Make sure that adults who live in babies’ households (so they don’t need to be masked) know the importance of face-to-face time. Every minute counts in terms of eye contact, facial expressions, and talking to your baby.
For those who must be masked when interacting with babies, there are clear masks available that allow others to see your mouth when interacting with you. The ClearMask is one version that has been approved by the FDA and is being recommended by the Florida Association for Infant Mental Health.

Will the increase in screen time harm our children?

Like most parents working from home, I have used screens more than I otherwise would to occupy my toddler. A lot of parents I know worry about this, and with good reason, as children’s brains do not expect to sit and passively consume blinking lights as a main source of stimulation. There is evidence that too much screen time can affect children’s ability to pay attention and regulate their own behavior. However, we also know that the content chosen matters greatly, and that children can learn academic and social skills from high-quality TV and games.

My short answer: This depends on dose and content. Screen time has the potential to be harmful for children if it takes away their opportunities to play, be active, and engage in other types of thinking, or if they are watching shows that are violent or not age-appropriate.

What can we do to mitigate concerns?

Choose programming intentionally that will promote cognitive and social skills. With limited opportunities to play with other children or experience new ideas and places, the content kids view on screens is likely shaping their world view now more than ever, and we can use that to our advantage! PBS has great shows for young children–Daniel Tiger, Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, and Elinor Wonders Why are a few that are designed to teach children academic and social skills. Khan Academy has a free app with age-specific games. Search the internet for videos about any of your child’s interests, from how a garbage truck works to live streams of baby polar bears.
Be involved in screen time. I know that often, the whole point of screens is to have a chance to do something else. But if you watch a show with your child every once in a while or even just catch the first or last few minutes, you’ll glean enough to help children apply lessons from the show to their own life.
Set limits and be consistent. Make the limits reasonable given your current situation so that you can stick to them; it’s OK if this looks different than it would in non-pandemic life. Children will be less likely to have meltdowns if they can expect that screens are used during a specific time of day for a certain length of time.

My next post in this series will explore my greatest concern about children’s development during COVID-19: the pandemic’s impact on adults.

Will our kids be okay? Parents’ concerns about the pandemic’s effect on children

February 2, 2021

By Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD, Research Associate

As the pandemic has dragged on over nearly a year now, I’ve had to adjust my expectations for a return to “normal,” along with everyone else. There’s now a light at the end of the tunnel as vaccines are distributed. Nevertheless, many parents of young children have lingering concerns. The years from birth to five are recognized as a foundational period for child development. Children in that age bracket will have spent 20% of that important period in this altered pandemic life. How will it affect their long-term development?

Normal behavior or pandemic problem?

In my personal experience, it has been hard to sort out normal behavior from the pandemic’s influence. When my younger daughter, now six months old, was six weeks old, my husband contracted COVID-19. Because he was instructed to self-isolate within our home, the only adult face our daughter saw for three weeks was my own. When our baby was 12 weeks old, her grandmothers began providing child care for her and our older daughter. Our baby was very fussy and often cried when she looked at her grandmothers closely. How much of that was typical stranger anxiety and how much was due to her experience in the pandemic?

We didn’t go to any playgrounds for a few months. After playgrounds reopened, another child approached my two-year-old daughter and said, “Hi.” My daughter cried. How much of that was her naturally shy personality and how much was due to the pandemic?

For a few months, my two-year-old was obsessed with Daniel Tiger. Most of her pretend play revolved around things she saw him do: fly a kite, buy shoes, make an obstacle course. She even started using words from the show, like “grr-ific” and “tiger-tastic,” in conversation. Was this simply a two-year-old’s enthusiasm? Or was it because it had been so long since she’d gone to a library, a grocery store, or a restaurant—much less seen friends in person—that she no longer had vivid personal recollections on which to base her pretend play?

In each of these cases, there were likely normal developmental forces at work interacting with the experience of living in a pandemic. There’s no way to know “what might have been” had there been no pandemic. But as parents, we naturally worry about what our children have lost and grieve for this year of their childhood as we had pictured it for them.

Two children wearing cloth masks sit on stairs

As a parent and child psychology researcher, I think it’s important to address parents’ concerns. But I also know it’s important not to get too stressed out about things that won’t matter in the long run. I’ve identified some of the biggest concerns I’ve heard from parents regarding the pandemic’s effect on children. Based on my personal experience and my training as a developmental psychologist, I’ve sorted these concerns into three categories.

The first category includes pandemic-related circumstances towards which developmental science suggests children will show resilience. I’ve addressed these questions below and provided some tips for parents and caregivers.
The second category includes legitimate concerns, but ones that we as parents and caregivers can affect positively in the near term. I’ve addressed these in the second post in this series and provided some additional tips.
The third category includes major causes for concern. In the final post in this series, I’ve explained why addressing these serious problems will require collective effort, rather than individual actions.

Experience-expectant and experience-dependent processes

The framework that has helped me create these categories is a developmental concept that describes how genes and environment interact to result in learning. In a 1987 paper, William Greenough and colleagues suggested that humans learn through what they called experience-expectant and experience-dependent processes.

Experience-expectant processes are based on information that the brain expects to be present in the environment and that we are genetically prepared to take in. This includes sources of information that are universally present in typical development, such as vision or language. If babies are not exposed to these sources of information during a specific time in their development, their brain will prune away the neurons that would typically be devoted to processing them. Experience-dependent processes, on the other hand, are what allow humans to learn a huge variety of skills. Our brains are not “hard-wired” to learn hockey or chess; we can learn these skills at any time in our lives. This kind of learning involves forming new synapses rather than pruning neurons.

Experience-dependent learning: Don’t worry, our kids will catch up

In this section, I’ll address two of the most common concerns I’ve heard from parents.

Will the lack of peer interaction harm my children?

My short answer: There’s no “critical period” for learning social skills. If a child misses out on some things at age two, she can learn them next year at three. While the transition back to frequent, large-group peer interactions might be uncomfortable and require adult support, kids will bounce back. I don’t predict many long-term effects on personality or on children’s ability to make friends.

What can we do to mitigate parents’ concerns?

Focus on interactions with the people in your household. While your child may not get to interact with as many same-age peers as they normally would, they can learn a lot of skills interacting with siblings and parents. Talk about and model skills like taking turns and using “please” and “thank you.”
Try short Zoom playdates with planned activities. It’s harder for toddlers and preschoolers to carry on a conversation when they can’t physically interact, but they can have a dance party, do a show and tell of their toys, or play games like “Simon Says.”
Silver lining: This situation is making siblings (if your child has them) more essential playmates than they otherwise would have been!

A family of two adults and two young children play Monopoly

Are children suffering from a lack of stimulation?

My short answer: While trips and activities are certainly enjoyable and enriching, all the experiences needed for supporting brain development in young children can be done at home. As a parent, I completely understand that it’s daunting (and repetitive) to be stuck inside all winter with your kids. But as long as children are given the opportunity to play, they are doing the necessary work of childhood.

What can we do to mitigate parents’ concerns?

If staying at home gets boring, try thinking about different categories of play: pretend play, gross motor, fine motor, music and dancing, construction play, and playing games. Try to promote a mix of these each day.
Remember that your perspective is different from your child’s. To them, reading the same book over and over again is a great opportunity to learn and understand. In their playroom, they may visit the farm, the fire station, and the moon all within 10 minutes!
Acknowledge your own sadness about what might have been, but try to reframe another day at home as another day to engage in high-quality play.

Children have grown up in an infinite number of different conditions across history, location, and culture. As a middle-class parent in the United States, I have an “ideal childhood” in mind for my children, but I also know that I am part of a generation whose expectations tend toward intensive parenting and over-involvement. Sometimes, I think about the things that my children are missing out on, like playgrounds, museums, birthday parties, and holiday celebrations. I feel sad about the loss of fun experiences and about the delay in forming positive relationships and discovering my family’s traditions. However, I don’t worry about their long-term development. In many other environments, it’s very normal for children to spend their early childhood at home with one or a few caregivers.

In the next post in this series, I’ll tackle parents’ questions that fall into a kind of “middle ground”: research confirms that they are real concerns, but they also have real solutions.

Parenting in a pandemic is hard; self-determination theory helps us understand why

January 6, 2021

By Alyssa Meuwissen, PhD, Research Associate

As a parent, one of my deepest desires is to give my children the world: all of its joys and opportunities, its beauty and love. But what happens when suddenly the world your children are born into is not the world you expected—or wanted? That’s been the case for parents of young children across the globe this year as the COVID-19 pandemic upended all of our lives.

There’s no question that the pandemic has had a significant impact on people in many different walks of life, both those with children and those without. But in thinking over the past nine months, I found myself trying to pinpoint why parenting during this pandemic seemed to present unique challenges. I recalled a model called Self-Determination Theory that I have used in my research on how adults can support children’s self-regulation.

Self-Determination Theory suggests that three conditions are necessary for people to thrive:

Competence: feeling that you are able to succeed at what you’re trying to do
Autonomy: the ability to make choices that align with your preferences and values
Relatedness: feeling connected to those around you

Self-Determination Theory helped me make sense of my experiences as a parent since the outbreak of COVID-19. The pandemic has cut off opportunities for parents to experience competence, autonomy, and relatedness. This framing can help explain why parenting in the pandemic has felt so difficult for so many people.

A loss of competence

In late 2019, I became pregnant with my second child. At the time, we had a blossoming one and a half year old girl and a stable life enmeshed in a network of family and friends. We were so thrilled to be growing our family. Then in March 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic arrived, along with a state government order to “shelter in place.” My birthday, my husband’s, and our older daughter’s are all in March, within a couple of weeks of each other. In what would have been a month of gatherings and parties, it seemed that all fun was cancelled.

My husband’s job as a physical therapist in an assisted living facility suddenly became the work of a “frontline hero.” But of course, no one got to choose whether they wanted to be one of those heroes. My mother’s job as a public health nurse changed into managing the pandemic response for schools in her county. My two main support people were suddenly both personally involved in this crisis situation. For six weeks, we made the decision to discontinue the child care that grandparents had been providing in order to protect our parents and ourselves. I stayed home with our now-two-year-old. Normally, I work 30 hours a week as a researcher. Now, I was trying to make those 30 hours’ worth of work fit into the few hours a day when my toddler was asleep or occupied.

Those first few months of the pandemic were hard. It was impossible to fulfill my own expectations of being a good mom and a good employee with no child care. I was getting up early and working late into the evening, attending meetings on mute while also attending (sort of) to the constant stream of chatter coming from my daughter.

I grieved for my toddler. I was only one person. I couldn’t provide the novelty, variety, and stimulation she’d always had being around family and friends. I couldn’t be a grandparent who could just delight in her without needing to fulfill other responsibilities at the same time. I couldn’t be a cousin or a friend who could help her practice social skills or expand her ideas of what was possible in play. It was just my daughter and me, and I was growing more pregnant, day after day, in the same house, with the same toys, for six weeks. The repetition itself was exhausting.

Working from home while trying to parent very young children, particularly when that isn’t what you wanted or planned for, makes it very hard to maintain a sense of competence. This feeling is further compounded for parents who are also trying to fill the role of a teacher for children who are attending school remotely. Even with the restrictions imposed by the pandemic, I felt I could still be a really good employee, or I could be a really good mom. I just couldn’t do both at the same time. The mental energy it took to constantly respond to my toddler while trying to think and write productively was draining. Many parents will relate to my frustration at my inability to do all I was being asked to do.

A loss of autonomy

As my pregnancy progressed through spring and summer, I could no longer get appointments with my usual doctor. We were shuffled between providers—sometimes online, sometimes in person—in a scrambled attempt to keep patients and providers safe. While I knew the team was competent and trustworthy, I had a lingering feeling that no one knew us well enough to take care of us as individuals rather than just as a generic woman and baby. Instead of looking forward to hearing my baby’s heartbeat at each appointment, I felt anxiety as visits were consumed by ever-changing rules about delivery. Choices surrounding birth plans were limited, no visitors were allowed, and those giving birth were allowed to choose one support person who would need to follow strict screening procedures.

At one point, we were told that if my husband had any COVID-19 symptoms, he wouldn’t be able to be present at the birth. We spent two weeks worrying that I might be alone in the delivery room. Then at our next visit, a different provider retracted the earlier ban on alternate support people. I tapped my mother as a back-up support and a friend as a second back-up in case my mom got sick.

I forced myself to be okay with plans A, B, and C, but I also held the emotions of my husband inside, knowing that missing the birth of his child would scar him. And I grieved for my baby. There was so much stress being pumped into her tiny growing brain. We could not get sick before her birth. And yet every day my husband went to work at an assisted living facility and faced the risk of exposure to COVID.

We had lost our autonomy. We no longer had agency to make choices about what would be best for our family or about the circumstances of our second child’s birth. Of course, I recognized that many things about the birth process would have been out of my hands even in normal times. Yet the heightened uncertainty around my husband’s job and around the hospital’s procedures made it all so hypothetical. It was paralyzing to hang in suspense for months. Meanwhile, in a vicious circle, my stress increased because of the knowledge that my stress could affect my baby. I was struck by the realization that she would be among a whole class of children who were exposed to extra prenatal stress.

Many people have identified decision fatigue as a major difficulty during the pandemic. What had been everyday life—having a playdate with our best friends, say—now became a decision to agonize about and plan to the last detail. (If we meet them at their house, will there be a tantrum if we can’t go inside? If we stay outside, do we need to wear masks? How much guilt will I feel if we find out we gave them COVID?)

I think an important aspect of decision fatigue is the lack of autonomy to make decisions that align with your own values. I have so often felt that there was no decision that would satisfactorily meet my own needs for physical safety and mental health, much less the needs of the rest of my family. Every step toward normalcy and connection with others seemed to come at the risk of physical health, creating a sense of inability to make the “right” decision for anyone.

A loss of relatedness

We stayed healthy through the summer and made it to the birth, which actually went pretty smoothly. My husband went back to work on a Monday, when our new baby was four weeks old. She first smiled the following Monday, when she was five weeks old. I remember commenting that although I was happy, I’d never been more exhausted. And then, on the following Monday, when the baby was 6 weeks old, my husband walked in the door after a long day at work and said, “I’m not feeling well.”

My first thought was not, “You might have COVID, and I’m worried about you.” Instead, it was “Does that mean you’re not going to take this crying baby from me when I’m in the middle of trying to get dinner on the table?” He did indeed test positive for COVID. Although he’d likely have been contagious for two days before he got symptoms, the recommendation was to have him self-quarantine in our house. This was another impossible situation. We’d have likely been exposed already, and now I would lose my husband’s support for 10 days; to what end? Yet we had a six-week-old baby; how could we risk exposing her and our two-year-old more than we already had?

My husband duly spent 10 days stuck in our bedroom listening to us—listening to the playing, the laughing, the cooing, the crying, the screaming—unable to interact, unable to help. Ten bedtimes where I’d try to stick our toddler in front of the TV long enough for me to nurse the baby to sleep, only to have the baby wake up screaming minutes later every single time, just as I was trying to get the two-year-old into bed. Ten nights where I slept on the living room couch in the green glow of both baby monitors, traipsing up and down the stairs to feed the baby and soothe her back to sleep countless times each night.

I grieved for my husband. He felt so useless, never more so than when he started feeling better and still couldn’t be a part of our family. He couldn’t smile at our new baby. During the brief moments when he came out of the bedroom to see us, he wore a mask and a face shield. Our baby was 43 days old when her dad got COVID, and she didn’t see him smile for 10 days—almost a quarter of her life at that point. I grieved for our toddler, who knew Daddy was behind that closed door. And I grieved for myself, for how much was out of my control and how completely alone I was. For the bone-deep exhaustion of being six weeks postpartum and suddenly being the only person providing any input of love and care into my two girls. Not only had I lost the support of my husband, we also had to isolate in our home, cut off from any external support. A few family members and friends dropped off food and toys, for which I was so grateful. But of course, they could not bring what we needed most. Just arms to hold the baby for a few minutes. Just a mind to connect with either of the kids so that mine could have a break.

We got through it, one day at a time. We checked the days of my husband’s quarantine off the list one by one. Then on the final night, I got a sore throat. The next morning I had a headache and a mild cough. And every breath my tiny baby took in and out was audible through a very congested nose. We spent the morning messaging and calling doctors, who said our baby and I were both “presumed positive” with such clear exposure in our home.

Again, I grieved for myself. This was too much. On the day I had been looking forward to having help, I was a sick parent with a sick baby in a global pandemic. Our family’s isolation clock started again: 14 more days with no grandmas, no cousins, no playgrounds. I grieved for the grandmothers who desperately wanted to help but were cut off from us.

We were lucky. Both the baby and I recovered after just a few days. Although my husband suffered lingering fatigue for a few weeks after recovering, he was able to return to work. Since we had all been exposed at this point, there was no longer a need to quarantine within our immediate family. I had my partner back, and we were going to be okay. It was, however, a long month. One day toward the end of our quarantine my older daughter looked up at me and sighed.

“I’m so tired of waiting,” she said. I asked her what she was waiting for just then, because for once I wasn’t feeding the baby or putting her to sleep.

“Oh, I’m just tired of waiting for the day.”

She spoke my exact feeling out loud.

We had about a week of “back-to-normal,” and then my mom’s mom got sick and was put on hospice. Within days, she died. We are not certain whether she died of COVID-19. It was another uphill battle to achieve competence, autonomy, and relatedness as our family tried to grieve and honor my grandmother’s life. We adapted; we had a virtual wake, a cold and windy outdoor funeral with no singing. We did what we could. We did our best given the circumstances. It was hard to accept the conditions that made it impossible to say goodbye to my grandmother in person, to celebrate her life in the way we would have wished, to even offer hugs to one another after her funeral. I grieved for my whole family.

Finding hope

It’s widely understood that children need available, nurturing caregivers to grow and thrive. Children rely on adults to regulate their emotions so that they can get through tough experiences. We talk a lot about children developing self-regulation. But interpersonal neuroscience shows that adults actually don’t do that much self-regulating either. We rely on our own “attachment figures,” people we feel close to and trust, to co-regulate. Different cultures know this all around the world, and that’s why in tough times and after tragedies, people show up to be together.

This pandemic has shaken the stability of our normal coping strategies. Quarantines, stay-at-home orders, and social distance policies—all necessary measures in the face of a dangerous virus—have suddenly limited adults’ access to their own support networks. Just like for children, those supports are instrumental in managing stress and promoting resilience.

This loss of relatedness is especially hard for parents, because they have no choice but to keep pouring energy and connection into their children, while their opportunities to fill up on these themselves are severely limited. There’s a concept called parallel process in the field of infant and early childhood mental health. This principle states that “you cannot give what you do not receive.” Yet this pandemic asks parents to do exactly that: to be enough for their children in every aspect of development, while simultaneously putting up barriers between parents and their own support systems.

During the last nine months, it has been harder to be a parent than it otherwise would have been. It has been harder to get our own needs met—already difficult while parenting young children. And while my experience has been challenging, I’ve become even more aware of my family’s privileges. I often imagine how different things would be if I were a single parent, if our household had suffered a job loss due to the pandemic, if we did not have any extended family nearby…the list goes on.

As we think about how to best support the parents in all of our lives—in the myriad circumstances in which they find themselves—we can recognize the impact of the pandemic on their sense of self-determination. For me, at least, it has been helpful to understand and acknowledge the erosion of competence, autonomy, and relatedness that has defined this experience.

I’ve also found reasons to be grateful for being a parent to a young child at this time. Even though all of the big, fun, social occasions in our lives have been cancelled, young children can find such incredible joy in small things that adult eyes often overlook: snow melting into storm drains, the arrival of the garbage truck, jumping in leaf piles, sticking things together with Elmer’s glue, the first snowfall, singing and dancing, hugs.

On one of our countless walks around the block because there was nowhere else to go, my older daughter started marching and wiggling and looked up at me, “Mama, did you know that I can dance with NO music?” Theoretically, I did know that, but it’s hard for adults to remember it all the time. There’s so much kids can do with what they have around them, even as we adults grieve the loss of the “normal” we had pictured for them. We gave our pandemic baby the middle name Hope, because we do have immense hope that on the other side of the pandemic our children will be part of building a world that is even more beautiful and joyful for everyone.